{"id":68,"date":"2015-07-29T12:39:21","date_gmt":"2015-07-29T20:39:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/?p=68"},"modified":"2015-07-29T12:39:21","modified_gmt":"2015-07-29T20:39:21","slug":"how-to-be-a-toaster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/?p=68","title":{"rendered":"How to be a toaster"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Remain steadfast. Do not<\/p>\n<p>have great expectations f<\/p>\n<p>or yourself, but be ready<\/p>\n<p>to rise on demand.<\/p>\n<p>Heat things up. Let the air<\/p>\n<p>above you waver with<\/p>\n<p>irresistible smells. On some<\/p>\n<p>days, you will just burn<\/p>\n<p>for no discernible reason.<\/p>\n<p>Chances are you are stuck<\/p>\n<p>on something and need<\/p>\n<p>a good shake up to clean<\/p>\n<p>out your insides. Mediate.<\/p>\n<p>Let life come to you.<\/p>\n<p>Never stay down too long.<\/p>\n<p>Jealous sidelong glances<\/p>\n<p>at the microwave serve<\/p>\n<p>no purpose. Be thankful<\/p>\n<p>that you are not toast.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Published in:<\/p>\n<p><em>dirtcakes<\/em> (Spring 2010)<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remain steadfast. Do not have great expectations f or yourself, but be ready to rise on demand. Heat things up. Let the air above you waver with irresistible smells. On some days, you will just burn for no discernible reason. Chances are you are stuck on something and need a good shake up to clean &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/?p=68\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;How to be a toaster&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=68"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":69,"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68\/revisions\/69"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=68"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=68"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judykaber.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=68"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}